Everything is quiet now except for the sad song playing in the back of my mind, and I lay my head down on your shoulder because it reminds me that I'm small but I'm protected and that makes everything okay all over again. I wish for a thousand things and try to remember all the normal things that stress me out, but you in such close proximity makes it hard to think. You short out all my circuits and I sit there brain dead in the best way, thinking of beautiful things and happy things that just might be made better by the contrast of that sad, sad song that has left me crying so many nights before.
Sometimes I feel like I hatched too early, that my skin is too soft, that my eyes are still unacustomed to what's going on around me. Sometimes I feel like I need to be locked up so I won't do anything stupid, and sometimes I wonder what would happen if I disappeared, like a puff of smoke, like time when I'm with you. I close my eyes and I don't mean to start crying but it happens anyway. I don't think you would have noticed if I hadn't accidently dropped a tear on your arm.
"What's the matter?"
The surprise in your voice is hard to listen to. I blink and try to pretend that I wasn't crying, but you are too smart for my stupid plans, and you make me sit up and look you in the face.
"What's the matter, love?"
Everything inside me wells up and pours out, and I can't stop it because that sad song is getting louder and louder and it doesn't make sense to cry and I think that's why it's happening, because it always happens when I am happiest and least likely to be trying to hold anything back.
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